Monday, October 8, 2012
I'm-Thankful-For-You-MOM
If you know "mama P" then you know she better be the first person I am actively thankful for. Beyond supporting my existence, literally, my mom is truly one of the most gifted people I know at selflessly loving others - without expectation - without ulterior motivation. She demonstrates a daily humility and dedication to others that I really don't know I've seen matched by anyone else this side of heaven. From the gentle, yet persistant, way she loves people who are wayward - to the generosity and acceptance she shows anyone who walks through her door - I feel very comfortable saying my mom knows how to love like Jesus - and I am so thankful that I have her an an example and guide toward the same end.
I'm-Thankful-For-You
Of all the things I am, the one I probably take the most for granted is that I am BLESSED. And I mean really BLESSED. I have a job that challenges every part of me, is never boring, and provides for my family. I have a family who daily demonstrates a long-suffering that you only see in lifetime movies and continues to take me just as I am and sits patiently as the Holy Spirit makes me something more. And I serve a God who pursued me in the midst of my rebellion and sin, who has never - and will never - forsake me, and who loves me beyond what I could ever earn or deserve. Yup.. BLESSED.
Of all the things I am not, the one I am clearly without excuse for is - THANKFUL. I am often amazed by my own sense of entitlement, especially dealing with people. While I am well versed in the correct vernacular "I love God's people", "I'm so happy God is using people to change me", "God is just so creative" I don't know if that regularly translates into actual THANKFULness for people - individual people - on a regular basis. I may be situationally appreciative but that is certainly me centered and inconsistent. For someone as BLESSED as I am, especially by people, I need a lot more practice at being THANKFUL so I've decided to spend the rest of the year on a self-titled I'm-Thankful-For-You project.
I've seen these online before but since I'm - truthfully - to lazy to do any further research on the subject after spending the last 20 minutes scourging the house for every last thank you card so that I can get started [longest sentence ever] I'm going to make up my own. We've got 84 days left in the year. Thats an unfortunately awkward number so I'm going to round UP to 90. 90 days. 90 cards. 90 people.
Each day the goal is to find one person to be thankful for - and actually take the time to tell them. Cards are nice and nearly obsolete - so I'll throw Hallmark a bone - and require myself to actually write thankfulness down. I'm sure some [a lot] of these will be the "i'm happy you contributed positively to my surroundings" type of thankfulness - but when possible I want to try and actually be thankful for some characteristic in a person that didn't directly benefit me. And when I'm finished hopefully I'll have 90 unique people to pray for and consider as I enter 2013.
So if you got a card - I'll be praying for you - and Thank You.
Of all the things I am not, the one I am clearly without excuse for is - THANKFUL. I am often amazed by my own sense of entitlement, especially dealing with people. While I am well versed in the correct vernacular "I love God's people", "I'm so happy God is using people to change me", "God is just so creative" I don't know if that regularly translates into actual THANKFULness for people - individual people - on a regular basis. I may be situationally appreciative but that is certainly me centered and inconsistent. For someone as BLESSED as I am, especially by people, I need a lot more practice at being THANKFUL so I've decided to spend the rest of the year on a self-titled I'm-Thankful-For-You project.
I've seen these online before but since I'm - truthfully - to lazy to do any further research on the subject after spending the last 20 minutes scourging the house for every last thank you card so that I can get started [longest sentence ever] I'm going to make up my own. We've got 84 days left in the year. Thats an unfortunately awkward number so I'm going to round UP to 90. 90 days. 90 cards. 90 people.
Each day the goal is to find one person to be thankful for - and actually take the time to tell them. Cards are nice and nearly obsolete - so I'll throw Hallmark a bone - and require myself to actually write thankfulness down. I'm sure some [a lot] of these will be the "i'm happy you contributed positively to my surroundings" type of thankfulness - but when possible I want to try and actually be thankful for some characteristic in a person that didn't directly benefit me. And when I'm finished hopefully I'll have 90 unique people to pray for and consider as I enter 2013.
So if you got a card - I'll be praying for you - and Thank You.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Deeper-1b
reading-thought-for-today
I did not realize that Joseph is the first character in the Bible that God did not actually reveal Himself to. He revealed Himself to Abe, Issac, Jacob - but not Joseph. No direct communication through dreams or visits or prophets. Yet Joseph's story of faithfulness and allowing God to shape his life is more exceptional than the others - and most similar to Christ's obedience. Do I have that kind of faith? Or the kind that struggles even in the midst of Divine revelation?
I did not realize that Joseph is the first character in the Bible that God did not actually reveal Himself to. He revealed Himself to Abe, Issac, Jacob - but not Joseph. No direct communication through dreams or visits or prophets. Yet Joseph's story of faithfulness and allowing God to shape his life is more exceptional than the others - and most similar to Christ's obedience. Do I have that kind of faith? Or the kind that struggles even in the midst of Divine revelation?
Deeper-1a
reading-thought-for-today
Am I like Joseph's brothers? When other people are promoted or encouraged or rewarded - am I jealous, envious, bitter? Look where that gets you - Judah! The end result of a life-pursuing-self really is destruction.
we-are-all-made-for-family
The past few weeks Psalms 68:6 has been the verse I can not escape. Its everywhere. Its in messages I hear, blogs I read, conversations I have. Its one of my most favorite verses (and the one before it) and I think it so clearly presents God's heart for humanity... "God sets the lonely in families".
Something I was reading last night used the natural biological family as the model for modern missions - saying that a family with multiple generations serving God understands the commitment to the next generation and to each other that it takes to build up a family of believers. Its one of the most insightful things I have ever heard. I've always respected the family unit and "knew" it was important to God, but this served as subtle reminder of how family is really part of God's perfect design for humanity. God has been setting the lonely in families since creation and how quickly I forget that He continues to operate in this same way today to effectuate the most signifigant personal transformation.
My house is always open. Growing up ohana - family in Hawaiian - means that your house only exists for and has value to the degree that others are using it. Preferably non-blood-related others. As usual, when emotion and fustration takes over, we are hardest pressed to see the very things right in front of us and this week was no different for me. I walked down the aisle at my wedding to a song called Home, it was one of the only things about the ceremony itself that I had any preconeivede expections or opinions about. Whatever marriage would be like, I have always hoped it would feel like home. I was reminded this week that the desire God placed in my heart long ago for marriage to be that, was likely not for me - but for my husband, Richard.
I was complaining - as I often do to God - about how marriage is harder then I anticipated, and how I didn't feel at home - welcomed or appreciated or even loved - and reminded God of my ONE (ya right) request for marriage - then I felt that voice. You know that voice. Still - Small - Asking you questions you didn't want to consider. What if the home I am creating isn't for you? I was taken back by the question - so I responded with a brilliant HUH? What if I am creating home for Richard? And then like a flood it happened You've had a home your whole life, a great home. You have a thick and strong community of people who love and support you - who you know will stand by you and who have seen you at your ugliest - and have proven their long-suffering. Richard needs that. Its his turn now. I've waited his whole life to give him a home so he can finally feel safe. YOU need to be HIS HOME.
Hardest-Thing-Ever
Something I was reading last night used the natural biological family as the model for modern missions - saying that a family with multiple generations serving God understands the commitment to the next generation and to each other that it takes to build up a family of believers. Its one of the most insightful things I have ever heard. I've always respected the family unit and "knew" it was important to God, but this served as subtle reminder of how family is really part of God's perfect design for humanity. God has been setting the lonely in families since creation and how quickly I forget that He continues to operate in this same way today to effectuate the most signifigant personal transformation.
My house is always open. Growing up ohana - family in Hawaiian - means that your house only exists for and has value to the degree that others are using it. Preferably non-blood-related others. As usual, when emotion and fustration takes over, we are hardest pressed to see the very things right in front of us and this week was no different for me. I walked down the aisle at my wedding to a song called Home, it was one of the only things about the ceremony itself that I had any preconeivede expections or opinions about. Whatever marriage would be like, I have always hoped it would feel like home. I was reminded this week that the desire God placed in my heart long ago for marriage to be that, was likely not for me - but for my husband, Richard.
I was complaining - as I often do to God - about how marriage is harder then I anticipated, and how I didn't feel at home - welcomed or appreciated or even loved - and reminded God of my ONE (ya right) request for marriage - then I felt that voice. You know that voice. Still - Small - Asking you questions you didn't want to consider. What if the home I am creating isn't for you? I was taken back by the question - so I responded with a brilliant HUH? What if I am creating home for Richard? And then like a flood it happened You've had a home your whole life, a great home. You have a thick and strong community of people who love and support you - who you know will stand by you and who have seen you at your ugliest - and have proven their long-suffering. Richard needs that. Its his turn now. I've waited his whole life to give him a home so he can finally feel safe. YOU need to be HIS HOME.
Hardest-Thing-Ever
control-freak
From June 2010
Since finding out that I am pregnant, I have had the daily reminder that I am no longer in control of my body. No matter what I eat or drink - I feel like c-rap! No matter how much sleep I get - I feel like c-rap! No matter what medicine I take or how many times I am in the restroom re-visiting my lunch - I feel like c-rap!
You would think that serving the Lord as long as I have, I may have figured this out beforehand - surrender, humility, and all that great stuff. But these daily reminders unfortunately present a stark contrast to my self perception just 15 weeks prior. So I'm left with the question, do I actually believe I am not my own, do I live like it?
Truthfully, no. If I was already in an honest state of surrender, I don't think it would be such a dramatic issue for me to come to grips with now that my body is PHYSICALLY no longer my own. Why didnt I live like this before?
Since finding out that I am pregnant, I have had the daily reminder that I am no longer in control of my body. No matter what I eat or drink - I feel like c-rap! No matter how much sleep I get - I feel like c-rap! No matter what medicine I take or how many times I am in the restroom re-visiting my lunch - I feel like c-rap!
You would think that serving the Lord as long as I have, I may have figured this out beforehand - surrender, humility, and all that great stuff. But these daily reminders unfortunately present a stark contrast to my self perception just 15 weeks prior. So I'm left with the question, do I actually believe I am not my own, do I live like it?
Truthfully, no. If I was already in an honest state of surrender, I don't think it would be such a dramatic issue for me to come to grips with now that my body is PHYSICALLY no longer my own. Why didnt I live like this before?
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